Oh my gosh, I don't even know what this place is, but I'm here now and with the best sister ever. I don't remember everything, but like, I remember enough of things to know that Toto is definitely not in Kansas anymore, not that I'm from Kansas. That's like, totally way too far from the beach? And you can't catch gnarly waves there? So, yeah. Letty says she doesn't remember where exactly we're from either, but I bet you anything it's probably somewhere totally awesome, cause look at us. We're totally awesome too. And like, this place has lots of pretty places and all this clear water. It's like whoever or whatever brought us here totally knew it was right for us. You know, clean beaches, fresh air, pristine scenery, and big ass dinosaur things that want to eat your face.
Like, I'm not even exaggerating right now. There are dinosaurs here. You know, the ones you see in museums, cartoons, and in Jurassic Park? These things are everywhere, and they're big and smelly and just big. Most of them seem pretty passive though, and to see them just do their thing is kind of cute, especially these weird turkey chicken toucan midget flamingos. I think they're those dodo things that people talk about? Whatever. It doesn't matter. All I know is that they do their thing and that they make killer chicken nuggets. But aside from the food, which is amaze, and the dino thingies, and the beaches, are the sunshine and water.
Dude, I can catch so many rays here and have a perfect year-round tan. That's totally righteous! And like, I can swim all day every day. It's like this water has special properties. It's fresh and briny at the same time. Like, what the heck? I don't know how that's possible, but it just is. Ugh, I just wish I had my surfboard and proper swimwear. This weird raggedly cloth thing I woke up in is totally unfashionable and would hella wreck my image on Facebook. What a vibe killer, man. But at least I can hang out on the beach all day. I mean, not that I didn't already because, you know, daddy's mega rich and like, he takes care of his little girls. It's too bad he isn't here to give us things now though.
It'd be nice if daddy could give us money and we could go shop for things here, but like, this place is half the best resort ever and half the worst. It's mega clean and gorgeous here, but there aren't any amenities. Whoever or whatever set this place up didn't think that part through. What a dingbat! There aren't any hair care products around; I'm stuck in this weird leather underwear thing that totally chafes, and there's no Jamba Juice. Oh my gosh, there isn't even a taco stand or a burger joint. Who sets up without smoothies, tacos, or burgers? Like, seriously? Whatever. Letty and I are gonna make this place a helluva lot more awesome than ever before. So, look out dino dingbat chicken nugget thingy island! You're in for the most tubular experience of your life!