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#12674797 Sep 01, 2016 at 02:47 PM
Scribe
75 Posts
First Entry:

Dear Journal,

Oh my gosh, I don't even know what this place is, but I'm here now and with the best sister ever. I don't remember everything, but like, I remember enough of things to know that Toto is definitely not in Kansas anymore, not that I'm from Kansas. That's like, totally way too far from the beach? And you can't catch gnarly waves there? So, yeah. Letty says she doesn't remember where exactly we're from either, but I bet you anything it's probably somewhere totally awesome, cause look at us. We're totally awesome too. And like, this place has lots of pretty places and all this clear water. It's like whoever or whatever brought us here totally knew it was right for us. You know, clean beaches, fresh air, pristine scenery, and big ass dinosaur things that want to eat your face.

Like, I'm not even exaggerating right now. There are dinosaurs here. You know, the ones you see in museums, cartoons, and in Jurassic Park? These things are everywhere, and they're big and smelly and just big. Most of them seem pretty passive though, and to see them just do their thing is kind of cute, especially these weird turkey chicken toucan midget flamingos. I think they're those dodo things that people talk about? Whatever. It doesn't matter. All I know is that they do their thing and that they make killer chicken nuggets. But aside from the food, which is amaze, and the dino thingies, and the beaches, are the sunshine and water.

Dude, I can catch so many rays here and have a perfect year-round tan. That's totally righteous! And like, I can swim all day every day. It's like this water has special properties. It's fresh and briny at the same time. Like, what the heck? I don't know how that's possible, but it just is. Ugh, I just wish I had my surfboard and proper swimwear. This weird raggedly cloth thing I woke up in is totally unfashionable and would hella wreck my image on Facebook. What a vibe killer, man. But at least I can hang out on the beach all day. I mean, not that I didn't already because, you know, daddy's mega rich and like, he takes care of his little girls. It's too bad he isn't here to give us things now though.

It'd be nice if daddy could give us money and we could go shop for things here, but like, this place is half the best resort ever and half the worst. It's mega clean and gorgeous here, but there aren't any amenities. Whoever or whatever set this place up didn't think that part through. What a dingbat! There aren't any hair care products around; I'm stuck in this weird leather underwear thing that totally chafes, and there's no Jamba Juice. Oh my gosh, there isn't even a taco stand or a burger joint. Who sets up without smoothies, tacos, or burgers? Like, seriously? Whatever. Letty and I are gonna make this place a helluva lot more awesome than ever before. So, look out dino dingbat chicken nugget thingy island! You're in for the most tubular experience of your life!
+4
#12674860 Sep 01, 2016 at 03:16 PM
Scribe
75 Posts
Second Entry:

So, I'm on this little islet with Letty, and we're hanging out, and we're gathering things, and this dude just emerges from the water. Like, he's not just any dude. This guy's abs are like cobblestones. Tie me up behind a horse and drag me along them, please. I think his name is Dan, but we call him Beefcake because, well look at him.

The three of us gathered more things and stuff, and we made some friends with a couple dino things and some chicken nugget birds. Now we have this shack, and rooms, and stuff. Dude, we have island property. It's already becoming more awesome as we go along. Mommy would be so proud of us right now because we're starting to conquer the world. I mean, it's just a start, but just you wait! And like, when we're done, daddy's probably gonna reward us with the most bodacious mansion and a most totally righteous party. It's going to be so fab. All we need now are more boys. Mmmm... hot, oiled up, model boys in some of that stuff they wear at luaus who are totally D.T.F. Totes reminds me of that time I was in Lahaina.

Anyway, so like, soon we're going to go exploring for a bigger, better spot. I can already tell that this place, wherever it is, has some seriously epic nooks that have our names written all over them. Like, I want a place that looks kind of out of a dream, or something whimsical, or whatever. Insert some gnarly description of a dream establishment on weird dino chicken nugget island here, please. Within that, Letty wants a castle. Like, she wants a legit castle and keep. Between us, I think we can pull this off, because come on. We're so totally awesome! But first, we need to look into transportation to get us from like, here to over at all the far away places that we've never seen before and stuff. Yeah.

So, like, I'm building a boat. Like, a legit boat. These gemmie thingies in our arms totally tell us things and how to make stuff. Oh my gosh, it's like they're medi-chloricals or whatevers the Jedi guys have. Dude! That's so totally awesome! I didn't even think about that until literally just now. Wow, man, that's so cool! Anyway, back on track here. A boat. I'm building a boat to take Letty and me around this place. I guess Beefy can come too if he wants since it's not like he's got anywhere else to go or anything better to do. Besides, maybe he'll want to share all that meat if you know what I mean. But on a serious note? Like, I don't want to just leave him stranded without anyone or anything, and we could use an extra set of hands to help out.

Here's looking at our trio, and our totally righteous adventures!
+3
#12674884 Sep 01, 2016 at 03:29 PM
Scribe
75 Posts
Third Entry:

Dear Journal,

I could totally go for some chocolate right now. If someone in dino chicken nugget bird land can make that happen like, right now, I will totally have your babies. Kay, thanks!
+3
#12674914 Sep 01, 2016 at 03:41 PM · Edited 1 year ago
Scribe
75 Posts
Fourth Entry:

Dear Journal,

Dude, Letty made this hair care product out of berries. She totally should have designed some of this stuff back home because this stuff is legit. It keeps my hair shimmering and I swear it helps with the volume, plus it smells delicious. Don't tell anyone, but sometimes I want to bite it. Like, I know that's messed up, but smell it! It's like an olfactory orgasm! Not even exaggerating there, man. This stuff can make people look and smell awesome, and makes awesome people look and smell divine. I should know. I'm already awesome, and my name is already divine, so clearly I've ascended to heights beyond the comprehension of mortal entities. I wonder if Beefcake would use this. I mean, he doesn't really have much hair, but still. He should.

What else is cool is that we found a few sweet places to lay claim to. There's a sweet ridge with a cave in it, and it's hella huge. And oh my gosh, the waterfalls with the giant ape statues are so pretty. When I get home, I'm so asking daddy to commission one for me because it totally rocks my socks off. And like, there this place with some epic ruins that I want. It's almost as if it was pulled right out of my head and dumped onto this chunk of land because it's fantasy-like, and whimsical, and other things, except for the giant slope shape, which is kind of weird, but that's cool. Yeah. Okay, so we sort of claimed it and the the nearby bay. Yeah.

All we need now to complete the day is some Korean BBQ. Maybe we can set up a little metal thingy over a campfire and make our own KBBBQ. Oh my gosh, I'm a genius.
+2
#12698778 Sep 11, 2016 at 06:57 AM · Edited 1 year ago
Scribe
75 Posts
Fifth Entry:

It's been a while!

O.M.G. I can't believe this place. I get stuck at this neat-looking water world place with pristine beaches and dudes you could wash your clothes on, but there aren't any amenities! No popcorn! No guacamole! No mac & cheese! No appletinis to sip on the yacht? No shorts? Umbrellas? No spas or special access to exclusive clubs and parties? Why am I even alive? Just end me now! Just end it all... Ugh, this is literally the worst vacay ever.

Okay, maybe not the worst. 2011 was pretty dumb too, and especially that one resort daddy got us a suite at where the bag boy guy expected a tip? As if, jerkface!

Anyway, I got some pretty neat stuff around the fort that's totally wicked. Maybe things'll turn around soon, and then I can have that gnarly barbecue with Letty and Beefcake.

TTFN!
+2
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