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#12507057 Jun 30, 2016 at 11:24 PM
20 Posts
Log 1

I feel exhausted, yet sleep evades me. The classic trick about counting dodos fails me. Even the light of my fireplace does not give me the normal comfort from its warmth or from the crackle of each flame. The fire reminds me of the incident that occurred days ago, yet it refuses to leave my thoughts. The only solution I have come up with is to write this down. Perhaps it will help future wash-ups to understand some history.
The Overseer. His dragon. The ball. When the Overseer's voice emitted from my armstone, I didn't believe it. That rapidly changed when I heard and somehow sensed the dragon's summoning. I panicked in that moment and ordered a retreat, followed by another order to refrain from attacking the dragon. We were scattered along with my thoughts. I couldn't decide if we should chase after the mythical creature or steer clear, but the Overseer made the decision for me. I returned to the ballroom after hearing that the dragon had landed there. For the first time in a long time, I felt true fear as the mighty lizard towered over me. In one single swipe of its paw, it could send us flying or crush us in its paw. We could have burned alive from its breath. The possibilities of death from the Overseer's dragon was endless, and that terrified me. Yet at the same time, frustrated me. Me, Kuro, Zeff, all the guests were powerless.
And the Overseer knew that. He claimed sacrifices here and there, knocked several guests unconscious and toyed with their sleeping bodes. Anger burned within me as he did such things, because I knew I could do nothing. That if I did, it possibly ensured my death. Frustration followed when my gunsmith, Zeff, seemed to start having fun with the Overseer. I defended his unconscious body as the Overseer tried to fling him around like the others by striking the man, or whatever he may be, on the shoulder with my blade. In my shock, he seemed to ignore the fact that I had attacked him, and left both me and Zeff be. Then the Overseer told us to continue on with the ball as he stayed and watched. He told us to put away our weapons, that we didn't have to worry any longer. I was the only one that held my blade out, protecting the one I love. The Overseer took notice of this, stood, and walked over to me. I prepared myself to fall unconscious, but no, the Overseer handed me a bowl of blue, bubbly liquid that I recognized as a broth of enlightenment. At first, I felt surprised, shocked, almost honored, but that those feelings were quickly crushed by rage as he insulted my mental stability. The temptation to strike him then may have occurred if not for Kuro. She distracted me, calmed me, attempted to convince me that there was no need for my blade. I only did so for her, and her alone. I didn't wish to see her hurt by the Overseer over my anger.
The Overseer eventually left along with his dragon, but the emotions I gained during the incident refused to give me peace. I would have ended the ball then and there, yet the guests insisted to continue. I was just glad that the threat had left, that the danger had passed. It made me wonder, however. I couldn't stop pondering about the dragon. How can the Overseer summon it? Where is this dragon and how can I find it?
Can I kill it?
Ciri
Inkeri
+6
#12522555 Jul 06, 2016 at 05:18 PM · Edited over 1 year ago
20 Posts
Log 2

Some time has passed since the masquerade ball. I had announced to the Kingdom soon after the event of our new quest. I hope by completing this tall goal, the Overseer will acknowledge the fact that not all survivors are powerless. We will slay the beasts of legend. The Broodmother Lysrix, then the Giant Ape. And then the Overseer's dragon. The unholy mother of spiders is the Kingdom's first step in our quest.

William informed me of the missing artifacts we required to summon the monster. The artifact of the immune seemed simple enough for me to retrieve on my own. A fool I was to think so. I left the cave with more than a limp and a wounded body. I was ashamed and frustrated with myself over how easy I was beaten by the aquatic creatures and the tunnels of water. When I returned home, I was relieved to learn that everyone except William was sleeping. My pride was already damaged; I dreaded the idea of the others witnessing me limping around the castle grounds due to the wounds inflicted on me by a few fish. I didn't care that William saw me tend to my wounds. He's always one to keep to himself. Besides, it always seems as if he is off in his on world with how absent-minded he is.

Due to my wounds, I was forced to take it easy. I busied myself with simple tasks to keep me distracted from my frustrations. It helped and, at the same time, it did not. I found myself in my tower multiple times over the course of my day. I'm not sure of my reason in all honesty. Maybe it was to stand on my balcony to take in the view, another way to distract me from my failure. The fireplace could do the same. As I write this, I sit in my bed with the balcony door open, and the fireplace burning. It helps me focus on something nice despite the tingling sensation I feel in my arm from a centipede's acid, the pain in my rib from a scorpion's jab, and the countless other scratches and bruises from the irritating bats. Then I remember that the wind and creatures are not the only ones creating sound, nor is the fire alone in its duty to emit warmth.

Kuro sleeps soundly next to me. The music of the island's creatures almost drowns out her quiet breathing as she lays there, so still, so peaceful. I'm two heads taller than her, she's so tiny, yet she rivals the protective temperature of a full suit of fur armor with the warmth her sleeping body generates. I'm made aware that nature and basic errands aren't exclusive in serving diversions for my mind. And when I write this, I do not mean to express that her looks and body is a form of distracting me. No. She herself, her personality, her spirit. She knows which string to pull with nothing but good intentions when I am angry or upset. She will never cease to amaze me how she does it. At times I find myself wondering why she fell for me. I am brute, not one for 'girly things', with a temper and a wreck when it comes to emotions such as love. Not to mention the dangers to be with a leader with hefty ambitions. Thus far, Kuro doesn't seem to worry about these conditions at all; as if she doesn't recognize the facts. Sometimes I fear that this is a dream, or an event will occur that will take the happy things away from me. In a world, on this island, where death lurks everywhere, it is hard to believe that such bliss is allowed to thrive.

Kuro's breathing has changed. She has stirred just slightly, but enough. I've written plenty. I suppose it is time to rest anyway. The sarco's bite that causes my limp is beginning to throb again. I do not wish for Kuro to wake to see me injured. Not because of my pride. That doesn't matter now. I just don't want her to worry about me. I need to change my bandages. Then maybe I'll get something to eat. Perhaps make more assault rifle bullets. We're so close to the broodmother battle-

Kuro's awake I think. Or at least half-awake. I'm ending this log. Ending it. Ok.
Ciri
Inkeri
+4
#12535683 Jul 11, 2016 at 04:23 PM · Edited over 1 year ago
20 Posts
Log 3

Much has happened since I have last written.

Ranulf and I argued. We spat insults at each other. We shouted at each other. If Ranulf had not ended it, I'm afraid that it would not have been the wall that I punched, but his jaw instead. This is the worst feud we've had. It pains me that the care free days of laughter and fun seem to have passed, and now I have to fret over what to say or do. It seems that every time I try to mend our bond, it is continues to fray and crack. He has not left his house since our fight. I don't believe he has even bothered to wake up. I can't decide if I should feel remorseful or annoyed. I have not shared this with Kuro and I do not plan to. I do not want her to start thinking that she is the reason that me and Ranulf's relationship has grown sour. She is not.

Not long after the incident, I flew to the island full of herbivores to speak with Juno. Juno took charge of the Tipsy Rex Tavern after Zeno had passed away. We talked about a means of an alliance. A simple agreement to help each other. Yet I didn't travel to the tavern to discuss about alliances with Juno. I was always curious about the woman, so we chatted casual-like. I got to know her, and she me. Juno tells me that she is Valka, that she is different from the rest of the survivors that are human. For the most part, anyway. I learned that, instead of sleeping, Juno undergoes a state of meditation, or something of the like, that she calls cereba. It seems a lot like sleep from what she tells me, but the key difference between the two appears to be the state of consciousness and what goes on during this time. Juno has caught my curiosity, most definitely. I feel that it is safe to say that we are on the path of becoming good friends.

After the night I had spoken with Juno, I woke to find that Kuro had become very sick. I was very worried at first. I managed to convince her to set aside her duties and rest in our tower until she fully recovers. I was afraid her illness was a result of stress, but that does not seem to be the case. I am partially relieved, but I am still worried for her nonetheless.

Those things aside, the Kingdom has grown significantly, suddenly, without warning. I am surprised, and I am most definitely not complaining. I am almost overjoyed. As of late, the Kingdom was quiet, but now it is busy with life and work. I am glad that I have something to focus on besides worrying over Kuro or grumbling about Ranulf.

The first recruit that seemed to spark the growth was Rory. As I write this, she joined nearly a week ago. I had first met her at the Black Summit, and I nearly mistook her for a child because of how short she is. Shorter than Kuro. I blame my height.
Rory has impressed me, as she proves to be quite the hard worker. I have learned some things about her that have surprised me to say the least. Rory told me that she was a goddess of death where she comes from. Whether she is still a godly being or not, I do not know. After learning this, I feel as if I should give her more respect than others, but I am not sure. She is not one to demand respect. In fact, she does not act like I would expect a goddess of death would. I'm ignoring the fact that she has approached me a day or two ago seeking permission to build a church in her name. I am not sure what to think about the matter, but I believe I will allow this. I still need to ponder over this. If I do allow this, the Kingdom will not be involved in this church of hers in any way.
In her life before, Rory tells me that she was a goddess for nearly a millennium. 961 years to be exact. She tells me she left her realm on purpose, that she entered a gate that only appeared at certain times. I was dumbfounded. She did not know where would the gate would take her. Why would she leave when, I assume, she had so much influence and power, being a goddess in her realm. I asked her this. She simply replied that she was looking for something new. I am still confused and wondering why, but I left it be. I hope to talk with her more. Not only to learn more about her, but to, in time, become her friend.

A day or two passed after I had recruited Rory when she told me of a young warrior that she had found. In the end, the young warrior was a man by the name of Gallus. His name is much longer, quite the mouthful, and I cannot fully recall it. Gallus tells me he used to be a general in an army from a realm he calls Rome. I look forward to discovering more about Gallus. Perhaps we will become friends.

Today, as I write this, a supposed friend of Zeff's, the Kingdom's gunsmith, washed up on the shore. He was eager to join us. His name is Adam, and he claims that he is skilled in diplomacy. I am not so sure. I assigned Zeff to mentor Adam, as he seems to be inexperienced in the ways of the Ark. Both of the men seem a tad bit insane, Adam moreso if I must be honest. They say they come from a world called "Murica". Murica must be full of very odd people then.

The Kingdom continues to grow, and I am eager. We are getting closer to fighting the broodmother. It is definite that the new recruits will help ensure victory.
Ciri
Inkeri
+5
#12566507 Jul 23, 2016 at 01:29 AM
20 Posts
Log 4

Rory and I visited the Tipsy Rex Tavern for a drink. Originally, it was to settle a bet we made. Our bet involved whether or not William would survive his solo adventure into the infamous swamp cave. He fled in the end. So me and Rory decided to get drunk together. I needed a drink and I wished to see how Rory handled alcohol. For the fun of it.
I may or may not have broken a table or two while I was drunk. But I did get into a brawl with Rory. Our first fight was fists only. I am proud to say that I was victorious. Rory won our second brawl that involved swords. Her short height seems to give her an advantage, as she is agile, quick. While I will admit that I was drunk. Tall, clumsy. Reflexes slow. The crowd that had gathered dispersed as the night grew older, but I stayed. I spoke with Juno. Mostly because somehow the sensible part of me told me to stick around someone who was actually sober to ensure that I didn't do anything else stupid during my drunken state.

I am glad that I was drunk that night. That I chose to stay. For the first time, in a long time, I put down my mask and shared my insecurities with someone besides Kuro or Ranulf. Even though I was drunk, and bits and pieces of our conversation are muddled, I recall that me and Juno talked about many things. I learned more about her past, her life before. I remember when she was sharing her memories with me. She started tearing up. Maybe the alcohol was the reason I felt so, but I felt guilty for nearly bringing her to crying. I recall asking her if Valka hug. I didn't care if she responded with a yes, or no, though she did say yes. I hugged her anyway since it was the only thing I could think of to do. I think it helped.
I remember telling her about Kuro, of our relationship. She brought up the talk of marriage, and well, I can't really remember how I responded. I remember feeling quite flustered after that. Then I shared with her about my troubles with Ranulf. I did not know what else to do. I felt that I should seek advice, some kind of help to attempt to repair our bond. She told me a story with a moral, her best bit of advice she could offer to me. It was blunt, straight forward, and, for a small part of me, it hurt. Juno suggested that we part ways, Ranulf and I. But in a small world of a island, how can one truly part ways? I will try to follow her advice, since I can think of nothing else. I understand and her appreciate Juno's advice, though I do not like it, I will follow through with it.
Then I recall Juno showing me her house. I did not venture inside, but she did also show me her boat, where there I did see the interior. I think the alcohol was wearing off then, I can remember more. Juno tells me that there was no water where she comes from, or at least, not as much as the island has. I myself am not surprised to figure out that she is fascinated by the open sea. I am not sure if I equally share her enthusiasm, but I am happy for her nonetheless.
And lastly, I can remember meeting a new member of the tavern. Her name is Amian, I believe. Juno tells me that Amian thinks of her as a god, a deity. I find it quite humorous. Amian seems like a nice woman. I look forward to meeting her again.

I returned home, still drunk. I got a scolding from Kuro. Though I didn't quite understand her, I believe she was fussing at me for coming home with wounds and stumbling around, getting blood on the floor. I treated my wound then headed for bed. I went to sleep knowing that I had made a good friend.
(I later learned Kuro was just mumbling nonsense in her sleep).
Ciri
Inkeri
+4
#12575213 Jul 26, 2016 at 01:55 PM
20 Posts
Log 5

Rory passed her trials with ease. She managed to craft a pike, the first recruit to accomplish such a feat, considering the restricted time limit. I am happy with my decision to promote Rory to general. She has proved her worth in many ways and continues. We celebrated this milestone by hunting down and slaying an alpha rex. I felt that it was only right to do so. Then we returned home to toast and drink.

Some time later, I had at one point challenged Ranulf to a drinking game. I had at first offered the idea in jest, to play, but then he accepted. I am not sure if the drinking game was a good idea or not. As the game went on, bitter words were exchanged that started yet another argument. I kept thinking about what Juno told me. I tried to follow through. Ranulf told me he was willing to leave then and there. But I couldn't. The thought of him leaving tore at me, all I felt was guilt. I told him to stay. I hope that will not come to regret my actions in the future.



Ciri
Inkeri
+4
#12575338 Jul 26, 2016 at 02:51 PM · Edited over 1 year ago
20 Posts
Log 6

Kuro had recovered from her illness and left the tower one day. I spent the day with her. After sleeping for so long, I felt it only right to entertain her. We were up to mischief for most of the day. It was nice to take a break from crafting mass amounts of polymer and fabricating guns. After that day, Kuro decided to go into slumber for some time again. I would be lying if I said I wasn't bummed out about it, but I understand. She must feel weak after being sick so long.

Juno and I met again, this time in the castle grounds. I was filled with pride when she told me that she was fond of how the castle grounds was built; that it reminded her of a place in her life before. We talked for many day and night cycles at the small tavern Rory had built for the soldiers. This time I wasn't drunk. A little tipsy. Anyway. I remember asking her how she felt about calling me Queen. She brought up many things, things I never would have come to consider or even think of. She questioned why I wished to have such a title, why it was important to me. I told her of the oath I wish to take when I take that title. I cannot recall much of that part of our conversation, but she left me thinking about my future, the Kingdom's future.
Then we discussed about memories. Juno has gained many more memories of her life before, but there was a time that she couldn't remember anything. She tells me that her tattoos helped discover hidden memories. Some of her tattoos she is still trying to decipher. I almost envy her for having something that was brought with her when she washed up her to help her recall her life before. I have nothing. Only a scar, located under the curve of my right shoulder blade. I have only recovered barely a handful of memories, and she has recovered many. She shares her sympathies with me, since she too could barely remember her past when she first washed up here. Our talk of memories disheartened me. I feel as if I have been stranded here for so long, and it seems the only real memory I have managed to remember is how I died and my first few days here. But even that memory is not whole. Nothing I have managed to remember tells me who I really am. The only thing I can rely on to assist me is time itself. And I am a impatient being.
I am not sure how it came up, but I recall sharing with Juno how Ranulf had mistook me for a goddess one time, when he was drunk. The goddess in question was known as Freyja, that she represented love, sex, fertility, war and death.
I think I am starting to regret sharing her that bit of information.

Rory recruited a man by the name of Horace shortly after. I would say we are friends. I've learned that he used to be a king in his life before, that he comes from a place called Araleun. Something of the like. He has given me advice on many matters, advice that I appreciate. I in turn have asked him many questions about what monarchy is like where he comes from. Then came the time when Horace had to face his trials of passage. I am glad to say that he passed. I remember he approached me, sharing with me his wishes of some day becoming my royal guard when I am Queen. I am touched, but for now, I assigned him to guard Kuro. She is not in danger, but I fear that some day she will be because of our relationship and my plans I have that involve her.
Ciri
Inkeri
+3
#12620795 Aug 13, 2016 at 08:40 AM
20 Posts
Log 7

I'm not sure how much time has passed since I have last wrote in this journal. It seems like ages ago.

We received many recruits after Horace was recruited. Dodo Mother, DM for short. She says her real name is Elizabeth, but for reasons she has not shared yet, her current nickname is what she prefers to be called. She tells me that she also comes from Earth, that she is human. DM says she transported goods across the Atlantic, that she spent the majority of her life sailing. I asked her like I do many others if Skellige was familiar to her. If she traveled her realm frequently, maybe, just maybe, she either visited or heard of Skellige. I was not surprised, however, when she had no idea of what I spoke of. DM passed her trials of passage and is now the Kingdom's builder.

James was recruited at some point. He also passed his trials, and he decided to become a knight along with Horace. I did not know much about the man. He seemed to keep to himself. James and Horace were good friends. I do not know if James came from the same realm as Horace. They knew each other well.

A man that calls himself Geographer joined the Kingdom as well. He had washed up on the island weeks ago. I remember seeing him at the masquerade ball, the day he had washed up. But I did not speak with him then. I call him Geo for short. Geo decided to join us because he did not wish to survive alone; that his chances of surviving would increase if he were with us. It does not matter to me why the man joined. Geographer has yet to pass his trials, but I have faith that he will succeed. He is a good man. I consider him a friend.

A woman from the Dodo Breeding Co. reached out to me one day, asking to join the Kingdom. I do not fully understand her reasoning, though she tells me that she grew bored in the DBC. That she felt she could do more in the Kingdom. Her name is Summer Breeze. I do not know much about her. Like DM, she tells me that she is not much of a warrior. She also has yet to pass her trials. I hope she does not get injured too severely.
Summer Breeze claimed that a wash up was her friend one day. The two did seem to know each other. I cannot recall the woman's name. She has been asleep since the day she was recruited.

There were three other recruits that have not woken up since the day they were recruited. I was told that one of their names was Snow, a woman. The other two, I cannot recall their names. I hope they do not slip into a coma and die. It would be a great shame and misfortune.

Ciri
Inkeri
+2
#12620828 Aug 13, 2016 at 08:59 AM · Edited over 1 year ago
20 Posts
Log 8

The time came when we would attempt to conquer the snow cave. There were five of us in total, I believe. Me, Rory, Geographer, DM, and James I believe, if I recall that right. I thought we were prepared, armed to the teeth. How mistaken I was.
Many of us had minor injuries when we entered yet another cavern. Wolves and yetis awaited us at the bottom of a short cliff. Easy enough. We began firing upon them. We had let our guard down. From behind us came a pack of wolves from the very walls it seemed. I heard Geographer cry out in pain, and turned to see him pinned by one of the ancient wolves. We were all surprised and confused, and that led to our downfall. The pack of wolves succeeded in their ambush and we were forced to retreat. In just a minute, we had lost so much. Thousands of pelts' worth of armor, now getting chewed on by wolves.
I was angry. I was infuriated. Rory suggested we retreat altogether. I refused. Some supplies could still be salvaged. I could venture into the cave a little further. I could satisfy my boiling rage by sinking my blade into the chest of one of those damned wolves. The others left to return home and tend to their injuries. Rory stayed to attempt to persuade me to retreat with her as well. I would not listen.

At the end of the day, I was still quite angry after our great loss. It would be weeks till we could attempt such an assault on the cave again. I shared my thoughts with Geographer. He told me that this was not a defeat. Just another chapter. In a way, I agreed with him. Yet it did not soothe the anger I felt.

A few days later, I discovered that Horace and James had died. How, I do not know. They did not seem to be sick. I buried them both. I no longer felt frustration over my failure, but sorrow. Horace was a good man, along with James. They both were good friends of mine.
Horace had told me how he loved his wife, his Queen, in his life before. How he missed her so. I do not know how true death works in this accursed world, but I cannot help but hope that he is now back in Araluen, reunited with his love.

In peace, may you, James and Horace, rest. May the Gods carry you to a better place.
Ciri
Inkeri
+2
#12620911 Aug 13, 2016 at 09:37 AM
20 Posts
Log 9

It was not long at all, perhaps a few hours, after I had buried Horace and James and paid my deepest respects when we received two new recruits. I was absolutely shocked to say the least to see one of them in particular.
His name is Bran, and his is but a child, 9 years of age. And my heart ached in pity when I first met him. He crawled along the ground, using only his arms and very little of his legs to maneuver. A man was with the boy, who claims to be his uncle. His name is Jack. Jack tells me that the two of them are pirates. That when Bran was younger, the crew broke the boy's legs and tossed him and Jack overboard. The things I would to this said crew...
I felt pulled to this child. I felt pity, and I dare say a sense of protectiveness over the boy. Bran didn't seem to be bothered at all by the lack in his ability to walk. He amazes me how he can be so cheerful and carefree, saying he'll be the greatest pirate the world has ever seen!, yet he crawls everywhere he goes. I gifted him Isamu, an ape that Kuro had tamed. Isamu seemed to be fond of hats that Bran were fond of, 'pirate hats'. Isamu could carry him around, look after him. Bran was overyjoyed. Althought I try to treat him like all the others, and try to appear stern, I cannot help but worry about him.

It was the night that Bran and Jack had been recruited that DM has successfully passed her trials. We were at the tavern to celebrate. Jack was there to celebrate with us. And it was learned quick that Jack couldn't handle his alcohol. I had noticed earlier that day that Jack does not seem to know how to properly discipline, that he overreacts and seems to be far too strict on Bran. I did not say a word about the matter, seeing as I had no real authority in their small family circle. It would be wrong of me to act like the head of their household when we barely knew each other. But when Jack became drunk, and Bran had approached us at the bar, Jack became angry that Bran had come to the tavern. When talk of physical discipline left the man's lips, I could not control myself. I stood up and walked over, and punched Jack. I felt remorse after my actions, seeing as I let anger control me at that moment. Jack fell backwards, over the balcony railing, and fell to the ground. I was not too worried; the fall was not that far. Jack certainly expressed how his face felt when he woke up after I had knocked him out. I couldn't help but feel a twinge of amusement when Rory shouted," YOU GOT KNOCKED OUT COLD, SON!"
I walked over to Bran, who still lay there, and told him politely to leave the tavern. Jack was right, in a small way. Children didn't belong in the tavern. Bran stared at me. Whether in fear or awe, I could not tell. He did as I asked. Jack apologized to me afterwards.

Ever since that night, Bran seems to stick around me. Looks up to me. I am not sure if I am happy about that or not. I am not the greatest motherly figure for the boy. Jack is more cautious when it comes to me and Bran, but besides that, it seems that the two are happy here. I cannot help but feel envious. They are the only people to wash up on this island, as far as I know, to be family. To have each other to comfort. To have each other's backs. Perhaps the Overseer does have a small sense of humanity for keeping the two together. I fear that Bran wouldn't have survived to join the Kingdom due to his condition if Jack was not with him. For their sake, I am not having the two go through their trials of passage. Bran is a child, far too injured. Jack is decently old, and Bran's only real guardian. In their case, the trials are not needed.
Ciri
Inkeri
+2
#12642785 Aug 21, 2016 at 10:55 AM
20 Posts
Log 10

Bran declared that he made a new friend one day. He told me,"He looks like he'll make a good pirate." His new friend joined us.
His name is Bill. He is quiet, keeps to himself, and I always see him near Jack and Bran. He is rather secretive it seems. It matters not to me. He works, that is what matters.

I also received another memory. Or a scrap of one. It is frustrating. Nothing I have managed to recover of my life before tells me anything. Who I am. What I was. But I have to be optimistic. At least my mind has been kind enough to me to allow me to remember a small picture of my past life. Some people do not get the luxury of receiving their memories at all.
I was on a boat. The craftsmanship of it was unfamiliar to me. I couldn't possibly replicate it now on the island. I was sitting on the stern, starboard side, and I was looking back at what looked like docks. There were people on the peers and on the shore, working away to whatever duty they held. Very few of them seemed to notice the boat I stood on was sailing away. Those few waved and shouted. Perhaps in good bye. Or good luck. But those people weren't the ones that caught my eye.
There was a girl on the shore. She was older than a child, yet I just knew that she wasn't a young adult just yet. She appeared to be upset. In her arms, she was struggling to keep a hold of a boy who refused to be still. The boy was barely a toddler from his appearance. Whatever he and the girl were upset about, the boy was obviously not handling well at all.
I felt guilt. I felt as if I was doing something wrong. And I wasn't doing anything about it. I turned away from the girl and boy. There were other men in the boat with me. They carried shields, pikes, and spears, swords. I carried a shield and sword. The men spoke words that I did not hear. We were sailing some where. Where to, I could not remember. And that is all I could recall.

I shared this with Geographer. He suggested that the girl and boy were of my blood. Perhaps my children. But the thought, the very idea that I bore children did not feel right. I am fine with children. They do not bother me. But the possibility of me being a mother then or now did not settle well with me. Perhaps the girl and boy were my siblings. Who knows.

I also shared my recent memory with Juno. She was more keen on what I was feeling during that memory. She offered the idea that perhaps I had committed a crime in my life before. Or crimes. I did not object the possibility. I cannot object. Nothing that I remember gives me evidence either way. If I committed an act against the law or not. I remember she asked me what I would do about it if I did commit a crime. I told her honestly. I would answer to my crimes if I must.

I have not recovered any more memories so far.
Ciri
Inkeri
+2
#12658487 Aug 26, 2016 at 02:17 PM · Edited 1 year ago
20 Posts
Log 11 - Part One

Another sleepless night. Another log. Nothing of importance has happened to be enough worth to me to make a note of. But I have to write something to keep my hands busy to encourage sleep.

My memory of the boy and girl is not the only memory that I have recovered. It was the first story I've managed to remember while living on the island. I remembered how I died.
It was storming badly. I've never seen a storm of its equal while on the island. The rain was fierce. The lightning was violent. The thunder was deafening. The waves thrashed my pathetic excuse for a sail boat around like a toy. The boat was small. I could lay down in it and it would be an uncomfortable fit. It was surprising that its sail did not snap under the pressure of the wind and crashing of waves. My visibility was greatly reduced with all of the elements of the storm combined along with moonless night. I was struggling to retie a rope that would keep the sail steady. I had to be alert and watchful of my balance. Otherwise, I would be thrown off my boat.
I remember feeling infuriated and hurt. I was determined, but for what or why, I cannot recall. Thinking back on it now, I was being unreasonable. I was allowing anger to cloud my judgement. Why else would I sailed into a monstrous storm with little chance of staying afloat? The real reason is unbeknownst to me, of course.
I recall sensing the boat tipping to its side. I knew it was not caused by the waves. I remember grabbing my knife. And I heard a screech. A gods awful screech. I have not heard anything of its like on the island. No creature or human or any living thing has made such a noise. I recall being attacked aerially, feeling something grab my arm and yanking me towards the boat's edge. I swing blindly. I manage to catch myself before I am thrown over. I regain my balance. Looking skyward, I see nothing but darkness and rain as it hits my face. I hear another screech to my left. I duck for a moment, then stand fast and swing to my right in an upward strike. I feel my knife catch something, followed by something cold, colder than the rain, hit my face and coat my arm. I hear another screech, what I believe to be one full of pain. It was cut short as I hear a splash. Or a wave. I could not tell. I am blinking against the rain, trying to keep my balance while I listen. A mistake I made.
From behind me, something grabs a hold of the collar of my shirt, and yanks me backwards. It was unexpected, and I was thrown overboard. I feel something grab my leg and I know I am being pulled towards the depths. I manage to kick myself free of whatever was determined to kill me. I swim to the surface successfully. I tried to climb back overboard to my boat, but my killer was still in pursuit. I was dragged back under. I knew I could not attempt such an escape again. So I fought. I used my knife and swung blindly at the pure blackness. I am successful in one of my attempts. A muted screech reaches my ears as I push my knife further into whatever was resisting it. But as I was doing this, I could feel my lungs bursting, burning, crying for air. My head began to throb and I could feel myself letting go involuntarily. And I knew I was doing to die. I would not swim back to my boat and climb aboard with victory. I ceased my attempts to fight back. What was the point? I looked up to see lightning lit up the disorientated, dull surface of the sea. And I felt peace. I accepted my fate. The anger I felt moments ago was gone. And then I felt nothing, the void.
And so I died.
Ciri
Inkeri
+3
#12698009 Sep 10, 2016 at 07:11 PM
20 Posts
Log 11 - Part Two

Along with the memory of my death, I also managed to recover my first few days on the island. I had never noticed or paid attention to the fact that I couldn't remember how I ended up here. But, I can see why I couldn't remember. Perhaps my conscious was doing a favor for me in that time of bliss.

That feeling of the void that consumed me in my last moments faded away, and was replaced with the sensation of drowning. I began to panic. I opened my eyes to brighter, quieter surroundings. I swam to the surface. Never have I ever appreciated fresh air in that moment more than in any other moment in my life. I didn't stop and question where I was, or how I was alive. I spotted land and swam to the shore. I tried to stand on the solid ground, but the adrenaline rush that kept me alive in the water was leaving me at a rapid rate. I feel to my knees. Then I was stumbling, then crawling, then I was dragging myself past the reach of the tide. I passed out then.
I'm not sure how long I was out. Perhaps a minute, or less than an hour. Perhaps an entire day. I just know that when I woke, the light of day had not changed. I was greeted with a wave of nausea. Once I recovered, I finally took in my surroundings. And from that point to over a course of several days, I felt nothing but fear and horror. The creatures of the island terrified me. I thought that I was sent to some kind of hell for my sins in my past life. I was hungry, thirsty, and so tired every time the night drew near. But I was so afraid to venture out of the home I found. That home being a shadowed, somewhat sheltered crevice between two rocks. I was too scared to leave the safety of the rocks to get food or even water. I was too scared to shut my eyes for even a moment, for I was afraid something was hiding and waiting for me to let my guard down. Every time I mustered a drop of courage to venture out, I encountered a beast that made short work of me. The first time I 'died', I have never felt so full of relief, so happy. I thought I had finally left the hell that I had been banished to. Yet I opened my eyes and returned to a state of terror. I began to loose my sanity.
I believe it was on the fifth day that I finally started to get myself together. I was hiding in my rock home when a raptor had discovered my spot. Seeing as I couldn't run this time, I had decided to fight back. I used a sharp rock as my weapon, and bashed the raptor's skull til I knew it was dead. I was victorious. Finally. The pain was the next thing that caught my interest. The bites and scratches I had received needed to be tended too. I left the corpse of the raptor and scavenged around. I learned to collect from the bushes and stick by herbivores since they gave me extra eyes to look for predators. I had found a purpose again. It was the sunset of the sixth day that I noticed that I no longer felt the horrible fear that I used to. I was calm. The pain in my wounds was the only thing I felt. I began to think about other things besides thoughts born out of fear. What was my name? I didn't know how to answer that at first, but I finally choose a replacement name, seeing as I could not recall my birth name. Ciri. Ciri would be what I would call myself. I finally started to notice voices coming from the armstone. In that moment, I felt the need to protect them all. It seems ridiculous now that I think about it, but after my first few days of horror and fear, I felt that no one should have to experience that, that level of fear. Not ever. And so I created the Kingdom. And I pulled myself from the brink of insanity. That night, I finally got some sleep. It was the best sleep ever.
Ciri
Inkeri
+2
#12698091 Sep 10, 2016 at 08:29 PM
20 Posts
Log 12

Again, much time has passed since my discovery of a memory.

One day, Kuro woke up. It has become a treat to spend time with her now. This time though, it was not as sweet and care free as it used to be. She shared with me that her sleep has been haunted by Izanami, a goddess of death that she says she 'belongs to'. Kuro had a rough and dark past, a past that I cannot help sympathize. It is a past that Kuro does not want to go back to. It pains me that she is now haunted of her past full of death and no emotion. Kuro managed to break free from that life, and here she is. But here she is, telling me now, that Izanami tells her that she is not truly free from her grasp. I told Kuro that I would fight for her, despite my potential opponent being a god. Kuro had attempted to persuade me otherwise. She didn't want me to get hurt, killed. But I grew angry with her, I will be honest. It seemed to be that she was content on submitting to Izanami, to give up already. I would not let a coward of a god take my beloved from the shadows. I would not let Kuro slip through my fingers. Not after I found such a good thing on this accursed island. Our conversation on the matter ended quickly after that. We were growing tired, and I didn't wish to upset her over my stubbornness. I had spent the rest of that night to keep an eye on her; to ensure that she slept peacefully and undisturbed by this Izanami.

Kuro continues to sleep over long periods of time. I can't always be there to keep an eye on her, but I do try.


On a side note, Bran called me 'mommy' today. I ignored it but. I don't like it. It just feels wrong. I won't be a good mother for the boy. I can't always be there because of my duties as a leader to a large Kingdom. But I don't have the heart to tell Bran to stop seeing me as his adoptive mother. He needs someone to look up to. Someone to care for him. Jack has proven to be incapable to be his guardian. Yet, again. I'm not sure if I want to adopt Bran, to be his guardian. If Bran is happy now without an official guardian, then I will be happy.
Ciri
Inkeri
+2
#12717569 Sep 18, 2016 at 11:30 AM
20 Posts
Log 13

We have come to the official decision that we will move our main base of operations, to make a new and proper city for the Kingdom. We won't be moving far at all, closer to the green spire. We will be making our new home where the priests of Gorp used to be. Where Felix and Zachary used to reside. They had left many moons ago without a trace. I am not sure if they are even alive... How I miss Felix.
The walls and a few structures for the new city has been built up, but we have halted construction when word spread that a new types of building structures would soon arrive. Dodo Mother and Rory spoke highly of these new techniques. They said it would completely change how many of the buildings would be built. So I gave the order to postpone the construction of the new city for now.

Ciri
Inkeri
+1
#12717664 Sep 18, 2016 at 12:14 PM
20 Posts
Log 14

My mind has been greatly burdened as of late. Juno and several of my men have taken notice. I can feel their concern, yet for the most part, I keep my mouth shut. It is a complicated matter that troubles me, and I'm not sure what is the best course of action.
I want to promote Kuro to Royal Ambassador. If I want the title of Queen, and for the Kingdom to finally recognize a leader, I must take an oath. Horace told me that he had to take an oath before he was given his crown. So I should do the same. With someone titled as an ambassador in my Kingdom, and to help me with the island's people. Someone to write my oath. I haven't shared this with Kuro, but I have told Rory and Ranulf of this. Rory supports the idea. However, Ranulf.. Had a different idea for Kuro.
Once again we argued. Ranulf knew (partially) of Kuro's past, that she was an assassin, and so he very stubbornly suggested that she should be a spymaster. He said to me that a spymaster was needed to collect information on other groups and keep a watchful eye. He didn't understand. I expressed to him that Kuro becoming a spymaster was completely out of the question! I would not shove her back into a world of secrecy, death, and blood. I would loose her to Izanami if I did so, I just knew it. If I made her an ambassador, she would be safe. She would be in a much peaceful and calmer world that would help her heal.
Ranulf didn't understand. He called me stubborn, that my judgement was fogged because of my relationship with Kuro. Perhaps it is. I am not ashamed for trying to protect her.
In our arguing, I am ashamed that I told Ranulf that Kuro has lust for battle and blood without me even thinking. But I didn't tell him why. Which is why I am ashamed at myself. I just told him that Kuro couldn't help it... It was against her will. I cannot help but wonder what Ranulf thinks now. About Kuro, or me, for that matter.
I finally gave in to a compromise. I told Ranulf that I would give Kuro a choice. That I would let her choose.

Both me and Ranulf went to bed angry and frustrated at each other.
Ciri
Inkeri
+2
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